Wednesday, September 28, 2016

2016 in Photos

Yesterday's Blogtember prompt was to share five photos that describe your year so far. ANNNND I can't keep it at five. :) Just being open up front! 

We started the year by finding out we were having a BOY! Our gender sonogram was on New Year's Eve and we shared the news with friends and family (above) on January 2nd.

There's been a lot of change in my life over the last year and a half, and I couldn't have walked through any of it without my besties. I have other close friends who aren't pictured and who have been amazing, but the two above have literally carried this thing. Packed up my house when I was taking care of a sick baby and a sick self. Organized my closet when I was mourning a loss and had let life's little tasks fall to the wayside. Celebrated my joys. They have defined friendship for me and continue to do so. They've been taking care of me for a long time, and I look forward to times ahead when I can return the favor. :) Ps. Fun fact: we eat a LOT of cookie cake together. Extra icing, please!

A last hoorah trip before Beau to visit our best friend Collin in Nashville. We love this guy SO much. If you haven't noticed, we are blessed with lots of close friends that are more like family. 

I couldn't reflect over the first half of the year without remembering my big belly. Is it weird that I already can't remember what it felt like? It's so weird to me that I was ever pregnant. My maternity photos are SO precious to me having now met Beau. It's so sweet to think about the reality that my sweet boy was safe in his mama's belly in the photo above. 

The first time that I held my boy. May 11,2016. My favorite photo of all time. I am SO impressed that Ben captured this moment.

My tiny, cuddly boy! 
We walked through some of our hardest days during Beau's time in the NICU. He had the best nurses and we had the best community. One of these days I'll show y'all the list of all the visitors Beau got in the hospital. 

Bringing home our healthy little boy!
July 4 marked a year since the loss of our first baby. God has brought us through it, and I will think about that precious baby every day for the rest of my life. Beau gave his mama extra snuggles that day.

My dreams coming true! Getting to travel the world with our babe

If I had to talk about this year so far in ONE photo, It'd have to be this one. The first photo was taken on the Sunday before I delivered Beau, and the second a week before his four month birthday. 

2016 has been unexpected and sweet and horrible and real. I'm so grateful for the life that the Lord has given me, all of it!


Tuesday, September 27, 2016

What My Son Taught Me: Time

When I shared what I had learned about self perception from being Beau's mama, I was really encouraged. I loved hearing from those with similar thoughts, and writing out what I was learning really helped me evaluate and hammer in the lessons. The other day I was thinking about a few other things I think that being Beau's mama has taught me.. and a series was born.

I didn't realize it until it happened, but the second Beau was born the value of my time changed. The value of an hour of sleep gained a bit of rarity, the value of an hour spent gazing upon the sweetness of my squishy newborn skyrocketed. During Beau's time in the NICU, I really struggled with feeling like I was "missing his life". Ben was quick to assure me that I wasn't, and that we were spending every day with him, but for those two weeks, I felt like the precious moments were flying by and that even though I was his mama, I was missing them. Every day that we stayed in the hospital and couldn't take his newborn photos, I grew anxious, feeling like he would be huge by the time we could record this fleeting time. Praise God for our photographer and sweet friend Katherine, who took newborn photos for us in the hospital and the day after we arrived home. My whole perspective of time has changed so much in four months. On one hand, it has gone by so incredibly fast. It feels like Beau should still be so tiny. Like his head should still be cradled in every movement, like we should still be snuggling during sleepy, middle of the night feeds. Yet it feels like I've never not known him. I've got his face memorized and it's crazy to me that there was a point in my life when I didn't know I was having a boy, or that he would come out with a head of hair, etc. 

All that I've learned from Beau about time boils down to one simple idea. I'm more present in daily life because I know it's the only shot I get at him being that exact age. Each stage and milestone and change has happened so quickly. Even if it's a hard day, I start and end the day remembering that I'll only hold him for a very short time at that exact size. As much as I miss having a tiny newborn already, each milestone reached brings me such joy. Laughter has been by far my favorite so far. :) My little boy rolled over this week! I know it won't be long before he doesn't let me give him a hundred kisses on each cheek, so I'll be lingering in each moment for now. 
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