Monday, November 15, 2010

it's freeeeeezing.
i have a test tomorrow in a class i'm doing poorly in,
yet i cannot make myself work. it's a major problem that i am only a sophomore and already have such a little amount of motivation.

current:
taste- leftover coffee (which i NEVER drink) because sweet sweet madison mae parker decided to treat me to a peppermint white mocha!
music- jon foreman. obsessed.
feeling- a mix between stressed and absolutley content and blessed with amazing friendships and also aching heart. LOGICAL.
desire- to see the absolute clear glory of the Lord in front of my face
wish list item- flowing cables sweater skirt


last thursday i experienced one of those times where you're kind of in awe of the beautiful metaphor Jesus has placed right before your peepers. every tuesday/thursday i rushrush to my bus after math class. i always barely make it and it is always a semi-stress. this past thursday i saw the bus already there in the distance and knew i had to run to make it. okay. now. let me paint a picture for you. i'm not athletic. nor were my sweatpants securely fastened. so i'm stirring up every bit of vague athletic ability in me to get to the bus AND my undies are basically on show to all that have x ray vision and can see past my backpack. just as i reach the curb, the bus pulls away. my heart is instantly broken. so then i just decided to lay down on this long stone bench for the lengthy wait before an even lengthier ride home. my bench was under this huge tree with tons of little nests in it. the breeze was blowing my hair around my face, it was lovely. i ended up enjoying the time on that bench. then the Lord hit me hard. I realized that i have def. been holding onto sadness in lots of situations. situations where i felt like i was almost getting the desires of my heart and then having them taken away. this is so stinking similar to the bus. i thought i knew when i should get on, just as i thought i knew when i should get the things my heart longs for. but the Lord has his superior plan and timing. He wanted me to sit and enjoy His presence before anything else. so now, as i continue in this waiting period of my life, waiting for all those big busses of joy to come pick me up, i'm going to try and take comfort in the fact that one day i will look back and remember the beautiful memories of the things God revealed to me while i waited.

blesssings!! xo.


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