I like to think that at twenty one years of age I am a big girl. You know, like the kind that doesn't hyperventilate at the slight sign of things different and go into a panic mode? Not so much. The start of this lovely fall semester brings lots of change in my life. A new house with new room mates, the last time I'll live in College Station, the last time I won't share a room with a boy, only one day of classes a week and a whole lotta student teaching, wedding planning... etc. I've been so excited for this. If there is anything I have learned in the past six months it's God's sovereignty over your heart.
As guarding my heart against thoughts of marriage to Ben became harder, my best friend popped up with a quilt and a ring and suggested we get hitched. I am so excited to spend every single moment of this semester embracing collegiate experiences for the last time. Truly. I want to get to know new people & invest in those I already know. I want to be fully there in every commitment I've made. But at the same time, I know I'm ready for the next season, a fresh new outlook on life as I am joined to another.
All of that being said, I could paint the picture that I'm confident, excited, and overall just rearing to go. Not so much. I still had that first night in my new house wondering what on earth I was doing and what this new time is going to be like. I'm thankful for the quiet but bold promises of scripture on nights like those.
Now I'm back to planning- happy- be involved in everything- joy-joy-joy mode and the problem is... I have been crippled to my bed with the flu. It's hard to be a go getter and visualize yourself making commitments when it is hard to get out of bed and go downstairs for a class of water.
These thoughts seem scattered and pointless, but it is humbling to know that even when I think I have it all together and can make all of my awesome plans, the Lord reminds me of how small I am, that my life is just a breath.
Counting down to being able to say "Happy Fall Yall!",