Thoughts on Friendship

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

This time last year, we were at a crossroads. The church we had been attending for a year, a church that has poured so much into us over the years, wasn't proving to be a good fit for us. The loyalty inside of us hated this with all of our hearts. It wasn't our vision to join a church and leave a year later. We desired so deeply to be walking with other believers pursuing biblical truth, and it just wasn't clicking for us without peers. I shared a bit about this here, last year.

Last week during a meeting of all the women from our small group, I had a breakdown moment. Lots of tears, laughing at the ridiculousness of the things that were going on, and being fully vulnerable with a group of 7 women I didn't know until last September. As much hurt as I was feeling in that moment, when these sweet women began praying over me my attention was brought to the reality that just a year before.. I had longed for this. I had desired so deeply to be able to come together with believers and friends in a home setting, simply walking through life together and pursuing more of Jesus in our lives. And there I had it. A bold joy in times of pain.

Friendship in this stage of life is different. It's a transition going from spending 24/7 with your besties in high school and college. Married or not, after graduation it becomes different. A lot of sweet friendships become long distance ones, and it takes work to maintain that. Yesterday I had lunch with two of my sweetest friends.

We realized that in the four years I've known them, I've been married and living in a different city for two and a half years of that time. Yet the friendships have grown. What an incredible blessing! I've thought so much about what friendship means in the last few months.  A few relationships have become filled with wounds and it's been difficult. It takes an effort from both sides and I'm blessed to be loved my my people. Whether its a handful of close friends from college, high school, or our home group.. community with people that love me unconditionally does my soul well. It fuels me to be better and love others well. The cultivation of these friendships helps me love my very best friend/husband well. It's so essential for me and I've really gotten to see that play out over the past few months. I need to feel loved and cared for by my people, as simple as that. Really diving into these thoughts over the past few months has made me long to be a better friend!

If you're in a dry season of friendship, I can't encourage you enough to join a bible study small group. Just keep swimming! I'm praying now that the Lord will provide sweet friendships in your life. Do you have any memorable moments with friends that you've learned from? Please share! :)


  1. I'm so thankful for my bible study group! We started about 2 years ago right after I finished college, and are all still trying to get to know each other on a deeper level, but it's moving forward. It can be hard the first few years out of college since so many people are moving around, starting grad school, getting married, etc. We took a break for a few weeks in May and are getting back together tonight to start "The Best Yes." I'm so glad you've found a group you feel comfortable being yourself and sharing with.

  2. I'm so glad that you and your husband found a church/home group where you can open up like that! Friendships are so important!

  3. Couldn't be in a more similar place if I tried haha! We've been really battling the lack of friendships/ people in the same life stage as us at church. Particularly less than a year into marriage. We know that this isn't our 'forever home' but have found small group so. so helpful in building a community around us. Like you, I too had a meltdown moment last week! But being reminded that we're prayed for and loved by these people has to be one of the most powerful things ever.

    Thank you so much for sharing this! Praying for you and your family :) x

  4. Friendships are so important and it can definitely be a hard adjustment, like you said, to go from seeing them everyday to having long distance friendship. Thankfully, the friendships I have been able to cultivate (with lots of work) are awesome. It's definitely a strange stage of life when it comes to friendships!

  5. Love your thoughts on long distance friendships. Such work but SUCH joy! So glad you wrote this post!!!

  6. Finding and cultivating friendships seems to get harder and harder with each phase of life. I'm beginning to realize that so many of us crave the same thing and long for great friendships but we are all so afraid of rejection that we often stand in our own way. This is a fabulous reminder of the joy that come into your life when you put yourself out there and you take risks!

  7. What a blessing! So happy you have these folks in your life... truly, the best.

  8. What a blessing! So happy you have these folks in your life... truly, the best.


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